


The Deep Dark Ocean

by TheBlackRoom



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - The Walking Dead Fusion, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Murder, Bondage, Bondage and Discipline, Cheating, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Doctor/Patient, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Gay, Gay Sex, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Love, M/M, Murder, Older Man/Younger Man, Oral Sex, Rick/OC - Freeform, Rimming, Rough Sex, S&M, Same-Sex Marriage, Smut, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:30:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackRoom/pseuds/TheBlackRoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doctor Rick Grimes and his husband Shane Walsh are distant, complacent and falling apart. But when Rick encounters Vinny, a young patient with a whimsical charm and predatory interest for the older doctor his life of mind numbing routine turns into an affair that plunges him into the crushing depth of a deep dark ocean of lies, betrayal, heartache, and the impossible choice between the man who is willing to kill for him, and the boy who is willing to die for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The large red numbers on the alarm clock pierced the darkness, 4:30 AM…4:31…Rick was immobilized with exhaustion and incapable of sudden movement. He pressed his stubbled face deeper into the white pillow that smelled of crisp ozone as the sheets had hung on the line just last night. 

“Baby, you gotta go to work.” He heard Shane’s gravely voice from behind just as his lover offered him an encouraging nudge on his backside with a large hand.

“K.” Rick breathed heavily and swung his legs off the bed, “I can’t.” He whispered with his torso and head still on the bed. Shane stayed quiet for a long moment giving Rick the impression that he had digressed right before the ripping sound of a fart was forced in his direction. “Wow. Thats…I’m getting up now.” Rick grumpily jumped to his feet and made a bee line for the bathroom while Shane lay chuckling in bed. 

As he brushed his teeth Rick participated in his usual morning routine of wondering why he had ever become a doctor in the first place. “To help people.” He reminded himself, “You can’t even help yourself.” He spat into the sink. Looking back into the mirror his eyes combed over his appearance and noticed a few more grays in his thick wavy brown hair and that the lines between his eyebrows were deepening a bit more, and his blue eyes were glassy with exhaustion. Rick scoffed and picked the dental floss up off the teak wood counter top and zipped an unnecessary amount of the waxy string from the spool. The rustling of sheets alerted Rick that Shane was crawling out of bed as he meticulously flossed under his gum line. 

“Hey.” Shane grumbled as he appeared in the mirror behind Rick, the handsome Italian man looked like a zombie with his messy dark hair as he lumbered over to the toilet in his navy blue boxers with little white starts. “Gotta piss.” He shared gruffly right as the loud sound of his stream hitting the water filled the room and he ripped another thunderous fart. Rick rolled his eyes and his arms fell to his side with exasperated annoyance. 

“I’m in here too, ya know.” He grumbled.

“I’m in the fuckin bathroom, Rick.” Shane argued with an aggravated glance over his shoulder. Rick said nothing as he rinsed his mouth with listerine and wondered how the hell his relationship had depleted to such matters as this, when did the firry love and romance they once shared fester into trivial spats about farting etiquette and a sexless partnership. He spat the burning rinse into the sink and rinsed it down before turning to leave the bathroom. 

Rick smiled at a random memory of Shane fucking him on the counter as he stepped out of the bathroom and heard the toilet flush behind him. He glanced around the room decorated with Danish modern furniture and matte black walls and moldings and in the far right corner were a set of yellow eyes staring at him, “Good morning.” Rick said conversationally to Sven the camouflaged black cat who sat still as a statue upon the dresser where Rick walked over and caressed the silky creature before opening the drawers in search of his daily attire. 

“Have a good day at work,” Shane yawed and scratched his belly on his way back to the bed,” I’m gonna get some sleep before I gotta be to court, this case is killin me,” He mumbled. Rick watched his man crawl back into bed through the mirror as he tightened the band of his Movado onto his wrist. 

“Thanks, you too.” He responded just as Shane started to snore softly. 

“I love you, baby.” Shane whispered half asleep as Rick quietly opened the bedroom door.

“I love you too.” His deep voice reassured, but after thirteen years it felt hollowed of any sincerity. He closed the heavy black door with the masted silence of a man who hasn't slept past six in the morning in nearly ten years. As he turned on the heel of his Nike’s at the top of the stairs he placed his hand on the banister and paused to peer down the dark hall and into the half open door of his nine year old son’s bedroom that glowed softly with strands of dinosaur lights. He swallowed hard as his fingers gripped the railing and an icy shiver shot through him. “I love you Reid.” Immersed in slumber an ersatz peace graced the childish face. Rick sighed and ascended the creaky stairs that he had been meaning to fix since they moved to Arlington three years ago. Once at the bottom his senses were intoxicated by the robust aroma of coffee, but he was uneasy. His eyes swept through the darkness layered with moon cast shadows and eerie stillness, something didn’t feel right this morning, like he was in the wake of a malevolent giant. The house was its usual quiet with dark gray walls, the hum of the AC and the buzz of the refrigerator as he walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee into the mug that Reid had made him in art glass last year, a bulky lapis blue constructed of thick clay rings layered on top of each other and the words, “I love you, dad,” etched into the bottom of the inside. Setting it down with a dull thud on the butcher block counter he began to open bottles of vitamins that he routinely laid out for Shane and Reid every morning while swallowing a fist full for himself. Staring out the lead diamond window over the sink and into the large heavily wooded yard, Rick’s stomach tightened, “Shake it off, man,” he told himself aloud in his gruff southern accent and grabbed the keys to his SAAB off the counter making his way toward the garage door. Hesitating, he braced himself for the frigid air that awaited him on the other side before pushing it open. 

Rick’s loan silver SAAB shot down the highway at 75 mph as he listened the cerebral voices of NPR discussing the probability of Hillary Clinton running for the White House once President Obama nears the end of his term. But he hardly paid attention as he stared into the frosty blue hue of this late November morning. 

 

_______________________________________

 

“Doctor Rick Grimes, to bay three!” The woman’s voice over the intercom stung Rick’s ears with annoyance as he squeezed his eye’s shut and massaged his temple. “Ten minutes to take a dump, that’s all I ask.” He murmured quietly. He tapped his foot and contemplated whether or not he was finished before concluding that he was. A few moments later as he washed his hands his name was called again causing him to bite his lip angrily. 

 

“ALRIGHT!” Rick shouted. 

He cracked his neck and fingers as he took long strides down the glass corridor. Agitated, he swept around the corner in his blue scrubs and long white coat and came to an abrupt halt in front of bay three. “What?” He barked at Sandra, a large black woman and nurse that loved to jive Rick at any chance.

“Where have you been, handsome?” She asked flatly. 

“Shitting.” Rick stated. 

“Hmph, well then you and your patient in room 5320 have a lot in common.” She teased handing him a chart. 

“Fucking great, I’ve been here for thirteen hours and this is my fourth diarrhea patient, don’t people get shot anymore,…stabbed.” He added pointedly. Sandra chuckled.

“Your scrubs bring out your pretty blue eyes.” She smiled, “and that wavy chestnut hair is bangin, what you do to it?” She continued.

“Forgot to wash it.” He admitted with a smile and lightened mood, Sandra laughed out loud.

“Go on with your fine ass, you're distracting me from my sudoku.” She dismissed as Rick chuckled and went on his way leafing through the patients chart. 

 

______________________________________

 

The ER was dead and an hour had gone by since his last patient. Rick laid on a cot in complete darkness with his arm draped over his forehead, his Movado ticking in his ear. He loves this watch as it rekindles one of his last happy memories with Shane over the past three years.

It was their tenth anniversary and Shane took him for a surprise drive to an unknown destination, Rick’s heart nearly exploded with excitement once he saw the plaines taking off into the night sky just off the highway.

“Where are you taking me, Mr. Walsh?” He laughed from the passenger seat of Shane’s old Land Rover Discovery. Shane glanced over at him with that mischievous glint in his eye and a toothy grin. 

“Be patient, you’ll see soon enough.” He assured with a sexy smirk, Rick knew that smirk.

“How long till we get there?” Rick asked with a heated purr to his voice.

“For what?” He played innocent. Rick flushed, Shane loved to hear him ask for it, beg sometimes. 

“Please…” He whispered as he leaned in and cupped Shane’s package in his large hand and nibbled his earlobe. Rick felt his man tense as his skin broke out into millions of tiny bumps, but as always, he played it cool.

“C’mon baby, let me hear those sweet words.” He mused gruffly. Rick chuckled and gave his man’s pulsing erection a firm squeeze that made Shane growl with that primal lust that never failed to send Rick into a sex crazed frenzy. 

“Let me suck your cock, please…” He sounded as desperate as he felt. In some ways he hated that he was so hopelessly aroused and impulsively lustful for Shane, mostly because he knew it was used against him. But at this moment they were happy and he wasn’t going to taint it with over thinking silly shit. Shane chuckled and made a sound as though he had to think about it…

“Well, C’mon then.” He digressed as he swung his arm over the back of the passenger seat granting Rick permission to suck his cock. 

Once they arrived at the airport Rick was trying his best to contain himself, “Where are we going? Please tell me!” He smiled wide at the board listing all the destinations. Shane casually slid his arm around Rick’s waist and kissed him on the cheek, which was unusually PDA for him. 

“You tell me.” He prompted with a grin. Rick did a double take and laughed, his handsome face childlike with all the possibilities before him, this was one of his dreams come true, he had always fantasized about one day just going to the airport and spontaneously picking a destination.

“Are…are you serious?” He asked. 

“Of course baby.” Shane reassured with warm eyes. Rick practically giggled and looked back up at the board, Los Angeles, San Fran, NYC, Miami….Seattle….

“Seattle.” He decided confidently. 

“Seattle.” Shane agreed and off they went. He had paid for a beautiful three day weekend at the Four Seasons on Union street with breathtaking views of the water and the fairies and mountains. They spent hours in Pike Place Market and exploring ally way’s that led to secret coffee shops and book stores, and on the actual night of their anniversary Shane had given him the Movado that symbolically staked its claim on one of the last moments either one of them believed they were in love with each other. But like them, that watch still ticked on because thats what it does, stuck in repetition pushing time forward even though the world for many remains still. 

“HUH!” He started at the sudden vibrating of his pager that illuminated the darkness with its blue glow. It would be his last patient of the night. He drug his feet and tucked his hands into the pockets of his white coat, his hair disheveled and eyes tired. It was impossible to imagine how he’d gotten to this place of near non existence, complacency, unfeeling, nonliving…he felt like the walking dead just passing through his life the same way he passed through the halls of Arlington Memorial Hospital. Rick approached the nurses station running his hands over his face, “Excite me.” He said flatly as he removed his stethoscope from his coat pocket and swung it around his neck. The pretty young nurse named Jennifer was enamored with Rick and practically forgot how to speak whenever he was around. Her pale face flushed scarlet like her hair and she smiled exposing her braces as she handed him the chart. 

 

____________________________________________________

 

“How are you doctor?” She inquired with starry eyes. Rick smirked at her delightful demeanor and innocent effectuation.

“Eh, I’m alright, just a bit tired.” He smiled at her. 

“I love your accent, it’s so charming…” Jennifer blurted making the other nurses stop what they were doing and look at her. “I…Its just that I’m from San Diego, it’s still so new to me I guess, the southern accent that is….” She wanted to die. 

“It’s alright, I’m not offended, certainly been called worse things than charming.” He consoled her in his gravely southern accent. The tension was gone and everyone went back to their jobs. He nodded and walked away with the chart with the name, Vinny Russo written in red ink. His eyes scanned the information for the basics when he suddenly stopped at the word “phimosis”. These are usually awkward cases, mostly because the patient is so uncomfortable or embarrassed. He heaved a heavy sigh and thanked a god that he doesn’t even believe in that this was his last one for the day. 

“Mr. Russo, how are you?” Rick asked as soon as he opened the door to the patients room. “I’m doctor Grimes, I’ll be your physician for the evening, I…” his words trailed off once he looked up from the chart to make eye contact with a strikingly handsome young man with odd features that some how formed one of the most beautiful and interesting faces Rick has ever seen. Vinny’s mouth is small, but his lips are pink and full, his jaw is strong and scruffy with a few days growth, but what Rick fell for first was the boy’s large puppy dog eyes, nearly black in color with long eyelashes and framed with well defined brows. Vinnys hand ran over his bristly buzz cut as he waited for the doctor to speak. 

“You were gonna say somthin’ doc?” The young man’s voice is deeper than Rick expected.

“Oh,…yeah, I guess I was.” Rick shifted and cleared his throat. “So, you're a healthy 20 year old, no STD’s or history of illness….” He flipped a page. “I see you smoke roughly half a pack a day and drink regularly…” He glanced up from the chart to gauge Vinny’s expression, which was slightly agitated. 

“Yeah, can we just talk about why I’m here?” His voice was sharper than Rick expected. 

“Ah, phimosis, yes, did the nurse take a look?” He asked as he placed the stethoscope into his ears and rubbed the diaphragm with his coat to warm it up before applying it to Vinny’s chest. When he lifted his shirt Rick saw the large tattoos that swept across the boy’s chest and collar bone in some graceful calligraphy that he couldn’t make out at a glance. 

“No. I asked her not to.” Vinny answered quietly. 

“That’s ok, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Sometimes our anatomy just does its own thing; and they claim we’re the result of intelligent design.” He added with a smirk. “Breath deep.” Rick instructed as he held the stethoscope just near Vinny’s perfect quarter sized pink nipple. 

“I’m not embarrassed. Not with you,” He gave Rick a small but suggestive smile that nearly left him breathless. Their faces were close now, and Vinny bore deep into Rick with his large ebony eye’s that harbored a practiced boyish innocents partnered with the skills of a stealth predator.  
Rick shifted and stepped back feeling the urge to splash cold water on his face. 

“Let’s see what we have going on, shall we?” He continued with forced composure as he sat upon the small swivel chair in front of Vinny who slid off the table and hooked his thumbs at the waist band of his joggers and slid the cotton fabric down his thick thighs revealing himself to a now distraught Rick. 

“What do you think?” Vinny’s velvety voice purred down at him. Rick bit his lip hard as he refused to let his mind wander further than it already has.

“I think it looks healthy.” He stayed clinical. “May I?” He asked raising a hand toward the massive penis that hung before him with glorious shape, a thick black nest of curly hair and a very smooth, healthy looking foreskin that draped over a very plump and pronounced glans. 

“Of course.” Vinny answered simply. Rick nodded and slipped on a white latex glove. Delicately, he placed his fingers under the boy’s penis and lifted it just enough to feel the impressive weight of it, it was like an anatomical miracle. Rick used his thumb to slowly glide the silky foreskin back over the glans to reveal a soft pink head with absolutely no sign of irritation. He was practically salivating. 

“Ah, I don’t see any sign of phimosis or any other irritation Vinny. “ Rick stated matter of fact like and rolled back in his chair to create distance. Vinny rolled his eyes.

“There isn’t one, technically.” He admitted. “I wanna get circumcised, I need a doctors referral.” This caught Rick off guard, a second ago this boy was radiating such confidence that it almost rendered him immobile. 

“But, why?” Rick furrowed his brows in confusion. “You have a perfectly healthy and nice…thing going on there.” He gestured to Vinny’s package while trying not to be unprofessional. 

“Thing? Really doc? it’s a cock.” He mused.

“It’s a penis.” Rick corrected him. “You can put it away now.” He instructed as he attemted to turn and write something on his chart, but something in Vinny’s expression rendered him incapable of breaking eye contact. With a devilish grin and a tilt of his head he took a step forward.

“I could.” He breathed in his rich deep voice. “But I don’t think that’s what you really want…” His lips parted in a smile that exposed perfect straight teeth, Rick swallowed hard and panicked at the sensation of an erection swelling in his scrub pants. 

“Pull your pants up.” He said sternly. Vinny arched a brow and turned sharply on his heel. 

“Suit yourself.” He digressed and bent over to pull his pants up exposing a perfect firm bubble butt with a light dusting of soft hair. Rick imagined parting those thick cheeks and burying his face between them while lapping hungrily at the boys sweet pink hole. He shook it off. “Are you going to help me or not?” Vinny asked. Relieved by the change in subject Rick exhaled for the first time in what felt like an eternity. 

“I don’t understand why you want that, you’re clearly confident in yourself, well endowed…” Rick paused in an effort to gather more counter arguments. 

“Are you circumcised?” Vinny asked shortly.

“Ah, yes, I am.” Rick stammered.

“Then you don’t understand.” He paused and ran his hand over his bristly hair again and puffed out his cheeks in aggravation. “I’m tired of having to prepare and explanation every time someone drops to suck my dick, having to wonder what they’re going to think, knowing they’re going to hesitate when they see it for the first time. Or ask me the same million questions, do I wish I was? Is it clean? Why aren’t you? I’ve never seen one before.” He shot off. “I’m gifted in the size department, you said it yourself, I’ve got guy’s and girls that’ll ride me all day long, but they aren’t always quick to drop to their knees.” He quirked the corner of his mouth up in an awkward curl before setting his gaze on Rick again. “It’s an informed decision. This is what I want.” His eye’s pleaded with Rick to sympathize with him, but Rick was confused about everything that just took place over the last ten minutes and couldn’t figure out if he was capable of making the right decision at this moment in time.

“The choice is yours.” He stated clinically. “I’ll refer you to doctor Carr in urology on the tenth floor.” He pulled a pen from his pocket to write down the information on a prescription sheet and handed to the young man who nodded in appreciation. As Rick opened the door he paused and sighed heavily before turning to face the beautiful boy again and said, “It’s a shame to see beauty like yours wasted on insecurity.” And with that he parted the room. As he strode down the corridor toward the elevator Rick felt a tightening in his chest, a welling of emotion that nearly choked him, but he didn’t understand where it was coming from or why. All he knew for certain is that Vinny had somehow chipped away at his iron clad barrier that barricaded his heart from the ability to feel anymore. He tapped the up arrow and waited impatiently for the doors to part….”Fuck…” He fidgeted, he was angry with himself, that part he knew, he knew that he wanted to fuck that boy, he knew that he could have, but why this particular boy? There have been many opportunities for Rick to have an affair and the choice not to had alway’s been simple because he knew he’d not forgive himself and that no matter how distant he and Shane are right now it does not validate infidelity.  
The doors parted and he slid in before they could open all the way and he pushed the 9th floor where he could shower, change and get the hell out of the hospital. He bolted out of the elevator and hurried past the intern lounge before they could stop and nag him.

Once in the locker room he took a quick look around to make sure he was alone before stripping and heading to the shower where he didn’t even wait for the water to warm up before jumping in. 

“HAH!” His body restricted at the shock of icy water spattering his skin, but his mind started to calm and collect immediately as the temperature slowly warmed. As usual, Rick kept the lights off as he showered in the frosted glass stall and imagined the rain like mist washing him of his sorrows. His breath steadied as the steam filled the small glass cube and he thought of Vinny crept in unannounced. The boy coming in and embracing him from behind, pressing his huge cock against his buttocks and feeling those sweet lips kissing at his neck….

”Why Vinny?” Rick asked himself passively as a heavy sigh escaped his lips at the sensation of his soapy thumb caressing the head of his swelling penis, the velvety lather making him almost too sensitive as he stroked to the scene in his mind of Vinny pumping into him with his enormous uncut cock. The girth stretching his hole and filling him completely, it’d been so long since he’d felt a man inside him that he wasn’t even sure he could handle Vinny’s size, but it was a nice fantasy to indulge in none the less. As Rick neared his orgasm, the beautiful boy pulls out of him and guides Rick to his knees and feeds the older man his warm cum, filling his mouth with the sweet seed…

“AGH!” Rick's orgasm exploded and he nearly collapsed onto the subway tile floor. “Ha! Shit…” He panted and puffed out his cheeks allowing himself a moment to decompress and gather his thoughts without overthinking. It was late and Shane would be wondering where he was…then again, maybe not. But either way he had to get home and stop fantasizing about a life that was not his to live. As his feet touched the cold tile outside the shower he started to dry himself off when his reflection in the mirrors over the sinks startled him for an instant when he stopped and stared with a dumbstruck realization…Vinny reminded him that he was visible. Rick had felt seen for the first time in years. But Rick despised self pity and would not wallow in his own, regardless, it was a legitimate revelation that caused him to swallow hard and take a step closer to his reflection and stared himself hard in the face, “You are not a victim.” He told himself sternly. “You played your part in this too.” Exhaling after a deep breath Rick pulled away from his reflection and dressed himself in a clean white shirt and dark jeans that he kept in his locker. 

“Good night doctor.” An intern nodded to Rick with boredom torturing her otherwise simple, but pretty face. 

“Good night doctor Kramer.” He smiled and passed through the sliding glass doors when he was greeted with a bite to the face as the cold air blasted him with a strong wind and snow flurries. With a jeering shiver he hunched his shoulders up and briskly walked toward the silver Saab 9-5. As he approached he saw tucked into the drivers door handle a folded piece of paper.  
Rick stopped and stared at it for a long moment before sliding it out and opening the small green prescription paper to Dr. Carr in urology. 

“Lets be beautiful together  
— Vinny"

571-217-6068

The paper trembled between Rick’s fingers. “No.” He breathed aloud and climbed into the car where he sat in deep thought while twisting his hands on the leather steering wheel until his knuckles paled in color. “Don’t do it, throw the paper away…” He whispered and slid the key into the center console ignition. Lights illuminated the dash and he shifted into reverse when he growled in frustration and slammed the brakes throwing the shifter in park…”I’ll just…talk to him…” He reasoned with his lustful impulse. It was like being a teenager again, it was new, spontaneous, seductive, and at age 41 he felt like a virgin recoiled in nervousness and fear. But as he unlocked his phone and started to dial his guilt eclipsed the romance. “Stop,” his conscience implored gently, Rick covered his face with his hand and held his breath, “No.” he responded as his thumb stroked the screen and dialed Vinny’s number. Placing it to his ear he cleared his throat and passively hoped he wouldn’t answer….


	2. Lure Of Vinny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick finds Vinny too tempting to go unexplored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! Thank you so much for reading. I am having fun writing this story and hope you're having fun reading it:) And for anyone asking where Daryl is, I will be posting his intro with the next chapter <3

“Hello.” VInny’s deep voice answered with a silky prowess. Rick could hear the knowing smile in his voice as he waited for a response. But he choked on his words which drew a chuckle from the young man in his ear. “I’d hoped that was your car.” He spoke conversationally.

“Uh, yeah…” Rick smacked his forehead annoyed with himself. “How’d you know?” He asked as a desperate attempt to fill the blank he was drawing in his brain.

“I just looked for doctor parking and took a wild guess.” He admitted sounding proud of himself. “You look like a Saab driver, I guess.” Vinny paused hoping Rick would finally say something to break the awkwardness.

“Good detective work, and I see you decided against the consultation with doctor Carr….that’s good.” Rick wanted to hang up and start over, what the fuck is wrong with his head, why can’t he say something smooth? He heard a soft laugh on the other end.

“Why did you call me doctor?” His voice was patient but direct. Rick sighed and squeezed his eyes shut and bit down on his curled in lips.

“You know why.” He whispered in a tone of defeat and hoped he didn’t come off as pathetic. He could hear Vinny sigh as though he was about to say something Rick would not like. 

“You’re broken too, I can see it. You’ve become a hologram of someone that used to be real, but now you just drift through in some parallel reality. You breath, but you’re not really here.” His voice was quiet and deeply empathetic, Rick was pulled up short by the young man’s wisdom and perception, he himself has been trying to describe what he has become for several years, and this beautiful boy sums it up poetically after meeting him for a few short moments. He ran his fingers through his wavy hair and licked his lips. 

“What do you want from me, Vinny?” Rick asked, there was a long pause…

“You first…” He probed seriously. Rick smiled to himself as he traced the steering wheel with the palm of his hand.

“I didn’t feel like a hologram when I was with you.” He confessed in a single breath. And somehow, he could hear Vinny smiling on the other end. “Your turn.” Rick prompted. 

“I want a man that will look at me the way you do and know that he finds me perfect exactly as I am. That he finds me beautiful.” His voice was somber and Rick found himself in disbelief that this boy lacks confidence in any way. 

“But you are beautiful, Vinny.” Rick promised in a hushed voice that left Vinny speechless. “Where are you?” Rick asks with sudden determination.

“Work.” Vinny replied simply.

“It’s midnight.” Rick pointed out. He heard the soft chuckle of Vinny that brought a warm rush to his heart. 

“I like it here when no one else is around.” He explained. 

“Where is that?” Rick pushed. 

“The ice skating rink about four miles from you…” His tone was suggestive and Rick didn’t skip a beat.

“On my way.” He said with a tightness in his chest and a surge in his groin. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, or at least thats what he told himself to ease his conscience. Images of his son and of Shane started to pine at him as he drove the deserted streets, but Rick had no intention of allowing them to manipulate him anymore. They were not real, only his guilt that no longer had a foundation in reality. For the first time in over three years he felt alive, exhilarated, and had somebody who looked forward to seeing him. 

The parking lot was empty aside from a white Volkswagen Jetta that Rick assumed belonged to Vinny. He drummed the wheel to muster up the courage to get out of the car and go inside the rink, “You’re the older man here, act like it, stay cool, be in charge.” He pepped himself up as he slid off his seatbelt and got out of the car. Rick swallowed and sucked in a deep icy breath that cleared his mind and exhaled a thick cloud of condensation before proceeding to the door that was left unlocked for him. Inside he followed the signs that lead to the rink where he could hear music playing and the unmistakable sound of blades slicing through ice. His heart was like lead and his skin rose with a static charge that resinated form his core and he felt as though he could feel the sensation of every individual blood cell rushing through his veins. Stepping into the enormous room filled with tiers of seats around the large sheet of ice where a profoundly graceful boy was dancing his heart out in the solitude of his imaginary audience, Rick wondered if Vinny was equally as nervous to see him again, but it would appear not. 

He observed in awe not wanting to disturb this candid moment of the lovely boy as his thin figure glided across his frozen stage in captivating elegance. Rick’s other senses began to participate as his ears were filled with the whimsical art of Vivaldi’s, Winter symphony. Vinny leapt into the air and twirled with his legs tight together and ascended on to the ice once more with seamless motion and fearless determination as he spread his arm and lifted his left knee with his head back, a knowing smile brightened his face as he became aware of his onlooker. Rick smiled and casually waved as he approached the rink, he noticed Vinny had changed into a plum colored long sleeved shirt that was slightly large on him, but fit in all the right places with a wide crew neck, and some very snug dark jeans. He slowly skated to the median wall and rested his elbows upon it with a brilliant toothy smile. 

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” His deep voice resinated in Rick’s head like a sultry darkness that subliminally whispered, “sex”. 

“I’m afraid because I did.” Rick replied honestly giving the stadium a once over to make sure they were completely alone. He stopped just far enough away that Vinny could not reach him, not yet anyway. But Vinny did not look in the least bit discouraged by Rick’s apprehension. “But I think you kinda like knowing I’m afraid of you.” He continued with his brows pulled together and a serious edge to his voice. Vinny rose from his elbows with a sudden snake like motion as a sinister grin curled his delicious lips.

“If you weren’t afraid, you wouldn’t want me so badly, would you doctor?” His words rang true, there was a troubling darkness about this young man and it made Rick want to dive into his ocean and swim to his depths. That or run away screaming. Rick’s mouth hung open as he scrambled to articulate a clever remark, but nothing came but a crooked grin and a shake of the head. Vinny laughed. 

“So, now what?” Rick asked. 

“You skate?” Vinny asked hopefully. Rick barked a short laugh.

“Like you? Not hardy…” He complemented tucking his hand into his pockets. “You’re exceptional, by the way.” Vinny tilted his head like a curious child, his eyes starry and his smile fallaciously innocent. 

“How long did you watch me?” He asked.

“Long enough.” Rick nodded. Vinny quirked his mouth to the side in thought without breaking eye contact.

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked softly. Rick forced himself not to smile.

“Pretty sure I can.” He told him with a glimpse of humor in his eye. Vinny smiled flirtatiously. 

“It’s a secret, so, you’ll have to come closer.” He provoked the older man with his boyish innocents, Rick sucked in a sharp breath at the masculine demand that laced Vinny’s adorable disposition. Saying nothing, he stepped forward with his hands still in his pockets and his eyes never leaving Vinny’s. Now face to face, eye to eye, he could feel the boy’s breath on his face, a combination of spearmint and cigarette that somehow concocted a delicious lure on Rick’s senses that he had not been prepared for. “I think you’re beautiful too.” He whispered seductively as the tip of his nose brushed Rick’s. Rick’s heart nearly stopped. “Don’t forget to breath, doctor.” Vinny whispered with a knowing smirk. 

“Uh…” Rick blanked out. “I don’t….” He looked around as though he was searching for the answer. Vinny’s face became serious as he placed a hand on Rick’s cheek and brought his focus back into his eye’s. 

“We don’t have to fuck.” He said with his dark eye’s peering straight into Rick’s icy blue and his lips so close that they almost touched. Rick’s desire to kiss him was outrageous, nearly unbearable as the electricity of new sexual chemistry sparked and ignited like a wild fire inside of him. “Grab some skates, their behind the counter at the entrance. I’ll wait here.” Vinny purred with a flirtatious shove to Rick’s chest as he coasted back on his skates. Rick sucked oxygen into his lungs like he had be drowning. He chuckled and nervously scratched the back of his neck.

“Uh, I don’t know—“

“Shall we doctor? “ Vinny interrupted as he jetted off to the center of the rink. 

“Uh, yeah, I’ll be right out!” Rick shook his head at his own stupidity, “What are you getting yourself into Rick?” He whispered to himself as he lumbered off to fetch his skates. 

 

__________________________________________  
Vinny stood gracefully a few feet away with an amused smirk while Rick clumsily inched on to the ice with his legs slowly sprawling out and his hands gripping the wall. It had been years since he was on ice and he was desperate to pull himself together before making an ass of himself in front of Vinny. 

“You just gonna stand there and laugh at me?” Rick asked hopelessly. 

“You look like a flamingo on ice.” He giggled. Rick grumbled with agitation. 

“I see the sweet boy that lured me out here has gone else where…” He teased. Vinny flashed his perfect white teeth as he ghosted over to assist. 

“I no longer have to be sweet, you’re at my mercy, doctor Grimes.” He flirted as he positioned himself behind the older man. 

“Hey, where you going?” Rick asked suspiciously as he felt Vinny’s hands slide around his waist. 

“Straighten your back.” Vinny instructed as he coaxed Rick’s posture into an upright position. Rick followed happy to be standing again, but he was taken off guard when he felt Vinny press against him and the boy’s strong hands sliding up from his waist to his pecs. Rick froze, the hot breath on the back of his neck was causing his pants to tighten. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Vinny whispered and gently pushed himself back allowing his hands to trace Rick’s torso on their way down. 

Vinny darted off with a sexy glance over his shoulder before stopping at a small Bose radio on the wall where he picked up his iPod and started shuffling through it. Rick was feeling panicked with full knowledge that he had every intention of fucking this boy. He wanted to run, but could hardly stand. He wanted to tell Vinny flat out that this was wrong and that it had to stop this instant. He wanted to lie and say that he didn’t really want to be here with this wonderful and intriguing young man that found him so desirable. He wanted to. But his willpower alluded him completely. Vinny glided toward him as the music started, a song Rick was actually familiar with. 

“RadioHead.” He told the boy who placed his hand on Rick’s firm stomach. “The song is, creep, right?” He asked casually even though VInny’s touch nearly rendered him speechless. 

“You know RadioHead?” Vinny sounded surprised, Rick laughed.

“I may have some grays, but I’m not ancient.” He joked. Vinny smiled and skated off to the music and started to move so whimsically it looked like the easiest thing in the world. His body fluid like silk sheets in a warm summer breeze. Rick watched how Vinny sweep across the ice and melted into the lyrics of the song.

 

“When you were here before  
Couldn't look you in the eye  
You're just like an angel  
Your skin makes me cry  
You float like a feather  
In a beautiful world  
And I wish I was special  
You're so fuckin' special!”

 

And on cue he leapt in to the air with the chorus like a gazelle and landed in a flawless crouch before straightening up and coming around behind Rick.

“Oh! no, no, no!” Rick protested as VInny grabbed his hips and propelled him forward, Vinny’s childish laughter filled his ears and made it impossible to be angry.

“But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here!”

“Just follow my lead!” He instructed with the excitement of sharing his art, and Rick couldn’t bring himself to take that away from him, not that he would have anyway. The boy’s arms closed in around him as they moved steadily across the ice and Rick felt a warmth and affection that he had forgotten he could feel. “Slide one foot in front of the other.” Vinny coached patiently. Rick complied and started to smile at the rush of air and the sense of flight. He started to laugh freely and let go of any hindering thought, he was alive and happy for this brief moment that he would secretly share with this boy for the rest of his life, even if they never saw each other again. 

“I’m letting go!” Vinny warned releasing Rick from his arms and skating around to face him. “Good!” He smiled.

“I think it’s coming back to me.” Rick laughed, “Haven’t been on skates since freshman year at Dartmouth.” 

“When they were made of wood?” Vinny laughed in spite of trying to keep a straight face.

“You’re a punk.” Rick chuckled. Vinny tilted his head back and laughed as he grabbed Rick by the hands and lead him to the center. “Oh shit!” Rick yelped as his skates shot from under him and he went crashing to the ice taking Vinny with him.

“OUCH!” Vinny cried when he landed on the blade of his skate. 

“I’m sorry, AH! Whoa, this ice is not smooth at all!” He complained as he sat up to check Vinny’s leg. 

“No, no it’s not!” He laughed with a grimace of pain contorting his lovely face. 

“It’s OK, I’m a doctor.” Rick teased as he rolled up Vinny’s pant leg, they both laughed with each other for a moment. “If your pants weren’t painted on I could roll them up a lot easier.” He pointed out as Vinny struggled to pull them up to his knee. 

“You weren’t complaining a minute ago.” He replied with a cheeky grin. Rick just smiled and focused on the red and broken skin of the boy’s shin.   
“It’s not too bad, you’ll live I think.” He pulled the pants down over the scrapes and looked Vinny in his ebony eyes, “Anything else hurt?” He asked. Vinny bit his lower lip and exuded the ersatz innocents again that sent blood rushing to Rick’s groin. 

“My hand.” He whispered and held up his right hand that was just starting to bleed at the base of the palm. Rick took Vinny’s hand into his and inspected the wound, and without thinking, he lifted the boy’s hand to his face and pressed his cheek into the palm and gently placed a kiss on the wrist. He squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of Vinny’s hindered breathing, Rick knew he was walking a fine line. 

“You often flirt with dangerous temptation, doctor?” Vinny asked quietly. Rick swallowed hard and opened his eyes to see a very lustful glint in Vinny’s dark eyes, Rick looked to the floor and stayed quiet. “Life’s weird, isn’t it?” Vinny pondered thoughtfully making a soft smile brighten Rick’s face.

“Mm.” Rick agreed bemused. 

“I’m serious. Not three hours ago we had no clue each other even existed.” He smiled and lifted Rick’s chin to look him in the eyes, “But here we are, it’s rather serendipitous.” Rick licked his lips and closed Vinny’s hand into a fist.

“Let’s see if we can stand up.” He said as he pushed himself up on his arms and positioned himself to stand. “Put your arms around my neck.” He instructed with a kind smile, Vinny laughed.

“I’m not crippled, doctor.” He joked as he wrapped his arms around Rick’s neck and was slowly lifted up where they stood facing each other with their lips mere inches apart. 

“Call me Rick.” He breathed and swallowed hard under the starry eye’d gaze of Vinny’s adoration. “Vinny, I—“ Rick began, but Vinny’s lips hushed his words as the boy’s kiss caressed his own with the delicacy of moth wings. Practically shaking, Rick’s head swam and his body became weightless, Vinny pulled away. 

“Again.” He whispered and pressed his lips tight to Vinny’s. lips, lips…tongue…Ricks hands cradled Vinny’s head as the kiss deepened and grew intense with each caress of their tongues and the primal desire to take charge and stake a claim on Vinny’s body ensnared his senses. 

“AH!” Vinny gasped when Rick bit down on his lower lip, Vinny’s brow shot up…”Yeah?” He asked with a sly grin. A dark excitement flickered across Rick’s face at the sound of Vinny’s approval. He leaned in to Ricks ear and whispered something that nearly made him choke.

“Fuck me like you fuck your husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Please comment and provide feedback. Part of my love for writing is hearing about my readers input whether its good, bad, constructive, or even a good prompt. Please let me know.


	3. You Always Say It First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick's inability to figure out what he wants leaves him at a crossroads to choose his path or have it chosen for him. Does he still want his life with Shane, or is that just all he knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DARYL HAS ARRIVED! Everybody breath! LOL! As I have said before, please feel free to offer advice or any other feed back you feel could assist the story.

There is was. At least a whisper of it, the darkness that somehow managed to hood even the most innocent of Vinny’s expressions. Rick wondered how deep this darkness extended, how intrenched would he become if he dared wander any further into it. He stared hard into the boys eyes and he realized he was staring into the eyes of the mysterious malevolent giant he anticipated earlier that morning.   
Vinny was the fallaciously innocuous monster that would debase him with no real intention of doing so. 

Rick breathed deeply while trying to gather his thoughts. Perhaps he was putting the blame on Vinny to deflect the responsibility from himself. Yes, that was it, he was being a coward. Look at that face, he’s just a baby.   
“Rick?” Vinny asked cautiously. Rick cleared his throat. “I’ve gone too far. I’m sorry.” Vinny apologized sincerely as he inched back on his skates. Their hands fell apart, Rick’s fingers tracing the boy’s palm to his finger tips before they fell to his side. 

“You’re so young.” Rick mumbled and hung his head, “You’ve no idea what it is you’re actually saying.” He looked thoughtfully at Vinny who had his eyes fixed hard on Rick as though he didn’t know how to respond. “I’m the one that will have to go home to my husband and look him in the eye when he asks how my day went and tell him the lie that it was just a regular day. Nothings changed.” He suddenly felt like his heart was clenched in Shane’s fist and the smolder in Vinny’s eyes died.

“You should go home doctor, It’s been a long day.” He announced suddenly cold and indifferent as he coasted back to the wall.

“Vinny, I-“

“Go home!” Vinny snapped over his shoulder. “Go back to your dismal, comfortable life of lies. I didn’t invite you here to babysit your guilt.” 

Rick nearly choked and rubbed his hands over his face before quietly skating to the wall where he unlaced his skates. He felt like he was falling apart as he stepped back out in to the cold night air that cleared his lungs as he opened the door to his car.   
He kept forgetting to breath until his lungs burned and he would suddenly gasp for air as he sat in the garage wondering if Shane would wake up, or if he somehow reeked of another man. He calmed his mind just enough by telling himself that nothing actually happened. He could look Shane in the eye and tell the truth. But he did kiss Vinny…hard and hungry. 

“Stop. Stop. Stop!” He scolded himself rubbing his hands hard over his face. Was Vinny right? Was his only drive to be faithful fueled by fear and comfort rather than love and loyalty? Was it only empty guilt and self preservation that brought him here right now instead of a hot frenzied night of ass fucking and cock sucking in a hotel room in DC?  
“Don’t you dare cry, don’t you do it!” He growled to himself. Rick coughed and jumped out of the Saab with a jolt of anxiety, he rocked on his heels for a second to collect himself before cracking his knuckles and going in to the house determined to stay centered. 

It had been twenty-four hours since Rick was last inside his house, it was exactly as he left it. Dark and quiet, even though a full day’s life had taken place inside of it that he was not there to witness. His mouth dried a little at the thought as he climbed the stairs. At the end of the hall to his right he saw Reid resting once again in the glow of his dinosaur lights. Rick approached the boys room as though he did not belong there and tapped the door open a little more. Knowing he shouldn’t risk waking the sleeping child Rick had to step in just to look at him a little closer. Reid was adopted but Rick swore there was a resemblance between he and Shane. He squatted down and caressed the boys hair and felt his gut tighten when the small dark eyes opened.

“Sorry, baby, go back to sleep.” Rick apologized in a hushed voice and signed with his hand. Reid gave him a sleepy smile and signed back.

“Are you leaving?” He asked with his little hands. 

“Just getting home.” Rick signed back. “Hows your cold?”

“Better.” He signed. “Do you work today?”

“No, We will do something together. Promise.” Rick told him and smiled before kissing his head. “Get some rest. I love you.” Reid smiled back and pressed his head back into his pillow. Rick stood up pushing Reid’s tiny hearing aids further off the edge of the nightstand before closing the door behind him.   
With a tight throat and pining guilt Rick opened the door to his bedroom where Shane lay softly snoring like a man conditioned to sleeping alone. Rick looked at the dark silhouette of his husband, blankets half off Shane’s torso as he lay on his back, his bare chest rising and falling slowly. He walked through the moon cast shadows to Shane’s side of the bed and placed a small kiss on the man’s lips that coaxed a smile onto the sleeping hunks face. 

“I love you.” He breathed, his voice deep and gravely. Rick tried to speak but his words caught in his throat. Even through all the complacency and indifference their relationship had become he just now realized that Shane never stopped telling him that he loved him. 

“I’m sorry.” Rick whispered, his own words surprising himself. Shane hardly stirred as he reached for Rick’s hand.

“For what baby?” He asked still half asleep. Rick sat by his side feeling the large warm hand in his own, still cold from outside. 

“You always say it first.” Rick told him. “That you love me.” Shane’s mouth smiled again.

“I do love you.” He said this with a promise that sent spikes through Rick’s heart. “I have always loved you.” Shane added as he started to drift back into sleep. Rick felt Shane’s fist squeezing his heart again and the tears fell silently, but as they increased he began to sniffle and covered his mouth hoping Shane wouldn’t hear him as he stood up and went to the bathroom to allow himself the release of a good and long awaited cry.   
Once the door shut and he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be heard Rick fell to his knees and sobbed with his face in his hands even though no one was there to see him weep. He gasped for air as his body shook and his heart broke inside of him. It seemed the more he searched the more lost and confused he became, never finding his way out of the wilderness of his own selfish, needy desires.   
Exhaustion started to cloak his hysteria as though his body was shutting down on its own, forcing him to rest his spirt for just a while. Rick gargled on spit and tears for a while longer as the fit of emotion subsided and he hoped the storm had passed. He rested his face on the icy slate floor allowing the coolness to extract the heat from his skin, the earthy stone surface smelled of cleaner, the maid must have worked today. Rick liked it on the floor when he got like this, perhaps because its where he feels he belongs. His body jolted at the sound of the door opening and the rushed footsteps followed by the thud of knees hitting the floor beside him. 

“Rick!” Shane’s voice was panicked as his strong hands grabbed Rick’s shoulder and forced him up. “Rick, what did you do? Baby, what have done?!” He demanded, his eyes frantic as he searched his husbands face. 

“I’m fine, I promise.” Rick whispered and avoided Shane’s eyes.

“Let me see your eyes.” Shane demanded holding Rick’s face firmly between his large hands. After a long look he sighed deeply and his expression softened. “Shit. Rick you scared me.” His eyes welled up but he shook if off and pressed his lips hard to Rick’s.

“Sorry.” Was all Rick could muster from his throat, even though he knew Shane wasn’t interested in apologies. Shane pressed his lips into a hard line and nodded his head in knowing determination.

“Lets get you to bed, you’re exhausted.” His tone soft and in control. Rick tried to stand but Shane swooped him off his feet like he were a small child and easily carried him into the room and placed him on the bed. The pillow beneath his heavy head felt like a cool cloud and the mattress formed around his body sweet and welcoming, he was so delirious he couldn’t tell for sure but, it felt like Shane was pulling his shoes off and undressing him for bed before sinking like lead into a deep slumber. 

 

_____________________________________________________

 

 

Rick hated that he had slept in till noon. But he knew he could sleep the entire day if given the opportunity to do so. Yesterday seemed almost dream like, like his mind had been over loaded and could no longer process reality from fiction. With one last glance at his reflection he turned and walked out of the steamy heat of the bathroom and into the cold air, his skin still damp from the shower broke out into tiny bumps and his nipples hardened. Shane was sitting up in the bed reading something on his MacBook when he flashed Rick a mischievous eye. 

“What?” Rick asked. Shane shrugged.

“Nothin’, just admiring my mans pecker, that alright?” He teased and made Rick flush.

“We have to get dressed.” He countered with a pleased smile. But as he crossed the room towards the closet he realized that he and Shane hadn’t had sex in nearly three months. He turned back around to face his husband who had gone back to his laptop. Shane instantly peeked over the screen.

“What else do you like?” Rick tried to sound innocently suggestive in his deep southern draw. Shane’s lip quirked into a sexy grin that caused Rick’s blood flow to give him away as his dick suddenly grew a little heavier. Shane bit his lip and slowly closed the laptop with a sharp ‘click’. 

“C’mere. I’ll show you.” Shane told him in a very , come to daddy, swag. But Rick stayed strong.

“Nuh-uh.” He grinned at his mans visible disapproval. “Tell me.” Rick insisted. 

“So you think your runnin’ the show now, huh?” Shane said in mock aggravation as he scratched his chin like a Robert De Niro mob movie. Rick tried not to laugh and willed his chubby not to betray him by going full boner. But Shane became thoughtful and his eyes started combing over Rick with intense interest, and it became painfully obvious to both men that they hadn’t taken the time to actually look at each other in a very long time.

“You’re so damn beautiful, Rick.” Shane spoke as though he were witnessing one of the seven world wonders for the first time. “I mean it.” He added as he stood up and walked over to a dazed Rick and placed his warm hand on his cheek, his stare intense. Rick watched the features of Shane’s face, how his olive skin creased with thought, how his black eyes caressed his every feature, and his stubbled chin tightened with unspoken words. 

“Your eyes.” He whispered as a crooked smile graced his face. “I noticed them first, blue as the sea, the mind behind them just as deep.” His deep gravely voice purred as his finger tips traced Rick’s jaw, “Features sculpted like a work of art.” He breathed as his fingers rested on his husbands parted lips, “And from the moment I saw you thirteen years ago I knew I’d walk through fire to kiss these sweet lips.” And just as Rick’s knees were ready to give in he was wrapped in Shane’s strong arms and caught in a kiss that made his skin prickle and his muscles tense. 

Shane mounted Rick up on the dresser without breaking their kiss, it was like they had forgotten each others bodies and were discovering them all over again as their finger traced and caressed and their tongues tasted one another.

“Ah!- you’ve always tasted so good!” Ricked panted in to Shane’s mouth and received a surprise bite to his now swollen lip that made him jump. “AGH!” But before he could protest Shane growled deep and swooped him off the dresser tossing him to the bed.

“HA!” Rick laughed as his back hit the fluffy comforter and Shane climbed on top of him grinning ear to ear. “What sexy man?” He chuckled looking up and his handsome husband. 

“We have thirty-five minutes till Reid finishes his riding lessons.” He bit his lip playfully. Rick swallowed and his features hardened. 

“I really need you to fuck me, Shane.” His deep voice begged and Shane’s expression became vampire like.

“I’m gonna cum in you at least twice.” He growled and gripped Rick’s jaw, “Now open up for daddy.” Shane smirked and Rick obeyed receiving a mouthful of Shane’s spit followed by a firm pat on the cheek. “Be a good faggot and roll over now.” He demanded and Rick was immediately on his stomach.

“What are you doing?” Rick asked sounding surprised, but Shane did not respond, instead Rick felt Shane’s fingers caressing his butt hole and pressing gently. Rick closed his eyes and tried to slow his heart beat as he felt Shane’s tongue dip into the small of his back and slowly trail its warmth down in between his fuzzy cheeks. Rick gasped and his fingers gripped the sheets, his eyes closed softly and his lips parted the moment Shane’s tongue entered him. “Huh!” He breathed and subconsciously pressed himself into Shane’s face.

Shane spread the full, round cheeks apart and pulled back to admire the sweet pink hole that glistened with his saliva and twitched with the need for his cock pumping into it. He ran his thumb over the silky opening and gently pressed into Rick’s anus. The man groaned blissfully and Shane knew his man wanted this bad enough to make easy work of it. He slowly massaged Rick’s sweet spot and listened to the whimpering sighs of approval. 

“You like that, baby?” He whispered feeling cocky and proud as Rick squirmed.

“Hmm! yeah, I need your cock in me, Shane. Fuck me, please.” Rick moaned blissfully into the white sheets. Shane chuckled and removed his thumb from the warm grip of Rick’s hole and gave his plump cheek a playful nip with his teeth.

“AH!” Rick jolted and rubbed the bite mark as his husband laughed. 

“C’mere.” He ordered with dominant authority and pulled Rick up by the shoulders and spun him around for a deep kiss, Rick melted into Shane and sucked passionately on the man’s tongue, tasting himself on Shane’s breath as he pressed his erection into Shane’s and slowly rubbed the two hard cocks together. Both men gasped and rubbed against each other. Shane grabbed lube from the nightstand and popped it open with one hand while trailing kisses down Rick’s neck and shoulders. His fingers found their way back into his husbands warm hole, Rick breathed heavily as Shane worked him open and was now chewing his nipple. Rick felt so good that all he could think about was Shane thrusting inside of him, he fisted Shane’s thick hair. 

“I need you inside of me, baby!” He panted into the top of Shane’s thick black hair. Shane was up on his lips again instantly as Rick was forced up onto his mans lap and the pressure of Shane’s cock was pressing into him. “Holy shit!” Rick cried out in both pain and pleasure.

“C’mon baby, you got this.” Shane cooed with an encouraging pat of Rick’s bottom.

“MMM!” Rick had forgotten the work of fitting Shane’s 2 liter sized penis up his ass, but he remembered he never regretted it once it was in. A few more encouraging word from Shane and Rick could feel the Italian man balls deep inside of him. 

“Good boy, thats right baby.” Shane praised as he lay Rick down on his back. Rick kept his arms around Shane’s neck and allowed the sensation of complete fullness to take him as he felt his insides gripping his husbands massive cock, it was like feeling whole. He felt the huge intrusion start to push in and out of his body and he opened his eyes to look in Shane’s handsome face.

“That’s it daddy, fuck me good.” Rick encouraged, his voice a deep growl as he wrapped his legs around Shane’s waist and watched the gorgeous man that was inside of him light up and lick his lips.

“You missed this dick, huh?” He chuckled as he started fucking Rick harder into the mattress. 

“Fuck, yeah!” Rick cried and grabbed Shane’s ass attempting to press the man deeper into him. “Feels so good, don’t stop!”

“This all you needed, Rick? Have daddy fuck your asshole like a little pussy?” He teased placing a firm grip around Rick’s throat. “Fuck, I can feel you opening up around cock.” Shane sneered and Rick loved it. That cocky, sexy, alpha male arrogance, he was so turned on by his mans display of dominance and aggression that it took him off guard. Shane pounded hard and Rick could feel the dull ache in his upper gut and the unquestionable build up of an orgasm. Rick was biting his lip hard and his eyes never broke from Shane’s as small whimpers escaped his throat and his body tensed beneath his husbands thrusting. 

“You gonna cum?” Shane asked looking excited. Rick nodded with his mouth open unable to speak. “Good faggot, cum for daddy!”

“MMM!…oh, shit! I’m cuming! AH-AGH!” Rick howled throwing his head back into the pillows as shots of warm semen shot from his cock and painted his chest. 

“FUCK YEAH!” Shane sang, “I’m gonna fill your ass, baby!”

“Give it to me, fill me up, Shane!” Rick begged as he watched Shane’s body go rigid while the man poured into him and collapsed on top of his cum soaked body. 

Their chests heaved against each others, their sweaty skin slick and breaths ragged. Rick ran his short nails up Shane’s back and curled his toes as his body unwound and he basked in the moment. 

“Thank you.” Rick whispered next to Shane’s ear. He could feel Shane smile against his neck, “Round two?” He teased making Shane chuckle. 

“Give me a minute you greedy bottom.” He laughed as he sat up on his elbows so he could look Rick in the face. 

“Hey, I remember you taking it a couple times too.” Rick protested.

“Yeah, I love it when you fuck me.” Shane smiled big, “Too bad I quit smoking last year.” He added. Rick sighed feeling proud of himself.

“That good, huh?”

“Hell, yeah.” 

“Well, I know about your secret stash in the sock drawer, I won’t get on you about it.” Rick gave him a pass and Shane flushed.

“Never could keep anything from you.” He laughed and hopped off the bed pulling his soft cock out of Rick which made a wet sucking sound. “Damn babe, you got a wrecked pussy.” Shane chuckled. 

“SHUT UP!” Rick laughed and covered his face with a pillow. He heard Shane giggling as the door to the bedroom balcony opened up letting in an icy draft. He lay there for a moment before cleaning himself up and throwing on some sweats and a thermal shirt. He grabbed Shane’s jacket out of the closet before following him out to the balcony. It was a gray afternoon in the low 40s, autumn was quickly retreating as winter crept in one icy breath at a time. 

“Hey.” Shane said with his cigarette between his lips.

“Brought you your jacket, it’s fucking freezing out here.” Rick scolded. Shane nodded and slid the jacket on, cigarette still between his lips. Rick thought he looked sexy when he smoked, and the smell reminded him of when they first started dating. He watched Shane for a moment as the man zipped up the jacket and the smoke danced around his head making him look like some stud cop from a mob movie. And just like that Rick realized that he and Shane might have a chance at making it through this, they might actually come out on the other side. In just a few short hours they went from not even existing to each other to suddenly remembering that they had once been very in love and desired each other in every way they could have one another.

“I’ve always love you too.” Rick told him, his arms crossed tight against the cold and his cheeks starting to redden. Shane looked at him with an uncertain crease between his brows. 

“I-“

“Last night, you were mostly asleep. But you told me that you had always loved me and I didn’t say it back.” Rick explained. “But I’m saying it now. I love you, and I always have.” He stepped forward and pressed his lips to Shane’s. Shane smiled that sweet boyish smile Rick loves and hasn’t seen in so long he’d forgotten it existed. With one last drag of his Marlboro Shane exhaled the jet of blue gray smoke and gave Rick a deep look. 

“We’re gonna be alright.” He observed Rick’s face, suddenly peaceful and relaxed. “Now get back in there, still got time for round two.” He said with a pinch to Rick’s ass as he chased him back inside the house. 

 

_________________________________________________________

 

 

Rick shifted in discomfort while riding in the passenger of the Saab as Shane drove.

“Need me to stop and buy you a donut pillow?” He teased Rick with that arrogant smile. Unable to think of   
anything clever Rick just laughed and gave his husband a light jab of the elbow. Shane’s drove with his left hand relaxed on the wheel and his elbow on the armrest, Rick loved how Shane so naturally made sexy look effortless. Rick never doubted his own masculinity as he was born and raised a southern farm boy himself. He was strong inside and out, his demeanor often more authoritative than he intends, and his disinterest in anything “gay” left nearly everyone he came out to in complete shock and denial. But he often envied Shane’s bad boy attitude that was ingrained into his DNA. He’s a guys guy, beer, football games and car talk. 

Rick was pulled from his wandering thoughts when Shane cleared his throat. “Do we gotta listen to this NPR crap?” He complained. Rick arched his brows and smirked in aggravation.

“Would you rather ESPN?” He tried to sound indifferent. 

“Hell yeah,” Shane stated plainly as he started searching the stations. “I’m dying to hear more bout that murder trial.”

“Alex Hernandez?” Rick questioned.

“Aaron.”

“Whatever, the handsome latino guy.” Rick digressed.

“Yeah, I’d pound his gangster ass like veal.” He chuckled and instantly withered at the look Rick gave him. 

“Reid is in the back seat.” Rick reminded him.

“Rick, he’s deaf.” Shane defended his speech with a tight lip grin.

“Thats fucked up.” Rick snapped under his breath. Shane rolled his eyes and stared out the windshield. Rick turned to face Reid who stared out of the window with a content face. Rick got his attentions by reaching back and touching his knee. “Are you hungry?” Rick signed. Reid shook his head “yes” and Rick told him they would eat soon.

“Rick.” Shane spoke gently.

“Hm?” He responded curt. 

“Lets not argue today.” He pleaded in a way that made Rick suddenly remorseful. “We really enjoyed each other this morning.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Rick smiled and squeezed Shane’s hand.

“Me too.” Shane said as he kissed the back of Rick’s hand. “Lets get Reid something to eat.” 

 

 

_________________________________________________

 

The family of three sat in a favorite cafe r of their’s in Dupont Circle, it smelled of warm fall recipes as they were baked fresh and the small room was alive with pleasant chatter while Tony Bennet and Lady Gaga’s new album played low over head. Rick watched Shane explaining the menu to Reid with his clumsy sign language.

“Hey, don’t laugh at my handicap.” He laughed when Reid sassed him about not making any sense. “Babe, help me out.” He looked to Rick. Rick smiled ear to ear and shared an exasperated glance with his son. “Screw both you.” Shane chuckled. 

“Do you want vegetarian?” Rick asked aloud and signed. 

“Vegetarian?” Shane questioned. 

“Tofu burger and sweet potato fries.” Reid whispered to Rick with his dull speech. 

“Ok baby.” Rick smiled at him.

“Did I just step into the Twilight Zone?” Shane looked between the two of them. 

“It’s a choice he made on his own and it happens to be healthy and shows that he’s compassionate.” Rick explained. “I support that.” He added more pointedly. 

“I spend more time with him than you, I didn’t know anything about it.” Shane reasoned. Rick bit down on his lip and his jaw tightened. “I wasn’t sayin’ it like that.” Shane tried to back peddle with his hands up in a surrender pose. 

“Sorry.” Rick exhaled. “I’m just sensitive about it, I know I’m not around much.”

“Well, I have the privilege of working from home a lot.” Shane offered to alleviate his husbands guilt. “And that is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about for a few days now.” He added cautiously.

“Oh?” Rick asked trying not to sound concerned. Shane’s mouth quirked into a crooked smile as he leaned in closer.

“I got an offer at George Town.” He sounded nervous. 

“And?!” Rick lit up with excitement and Shane was instantly relieved. 

“Well, you’re looking at their new professor of constitutional law.” He announced proudly. 

“We need to celebrate!” Rick laughed with his hands out to his sides. “Reid, daddies going to be teaching law at George Town.” He explained to their son who looked left out as he was focusing on their lips and getting frustrated. He clapped his little hands and gave Shane the biggest hug he could. 

“And, what about running for the bench?” Rick asked.

“In due time, but I’ve wanted this since-“

“Freshman year, I know.” Rick finished. “You start in January?”

“Yup, and I was thinking maybe we could look for a place here in DC.” He added a little reluctant. “I know Arlington isn’t far but the commute would be easier and you could get a job working for MedStar here at the university…” He reasoned. 

“Ah, yeah!” Rick forced his smile now. 

“I know you love the house.” Shane was empathetic. 

“I do love that house.” Rick thought for a moment as he looked between Shane and Reid and suddenly felt that he was possibly being given exactly what he and Shane need. All he has to say is yes. “You know, this might be the change we need.” He said as he placed his hand over Shane’s. “Lets do it.”

“I love you.” Shane smiled and his large brown eyes sparkled. 

“I love you too, so much.” Rick promised and felt his heart swell with excitement. In hind sight, Vinny was probably the greatest wake up call he could have hoped for. He hoped the young boy would not hate him and would someday find what it is that he is looking for, but Rick knew that jeopardizing his family was no longer an option. 

“Thought I recognized you two faggots.” Came a familiar guttural southern drawl. 

“Daryl!” Both Rick and Shane laughed as they jumped up to hug their old friend. 

“Wassup little man?” Daryl reached over and gave Reid a high five. “You good?” He signed perfectly. 

“C’mon man, you’re making me look bad!” Shane protested as they took their seats. 

“Aint hard to do.” Daryl teased as he slid out of his leather jacket and sat at the end of the table in a chair he stole from the neighboring table.He pushed his mop like hair from his face. “Y’all are lookin happy.” He observed as he looked between them.

“We’re doing pretty good.” Rick smiled at Shane.

“Bout damn time, y’all were some tragic ass people to be around.” He criticized in his typical Daryl gruffness. 

“And what brings you to Dupont Circle, Daryl?” Shane switched the subject with a pointed look. Daryl took the hint. 

“Comin to pick up a body that belongs in my jurisdiction. Washed up over here but gotta take it back to A-town for the autopsy.” He explained casually. 

“So, Dracula left the morgue, explains the burning smell on your skin since it’s only partly cloudy.” Rick teased. Daryl gave Rick a toothy smile and chuckled. 

“Shane and I were just discussing moving into DC.” Rick started and nodded to his husband. 

“That’s right, I’ll be teaching constitutional law at GTU come Spring semester.” He said with a swollen chest. 

“Aw, man! Them are gonna be some fucked up lawyers!” He laughed in spite of his best efforts and Shane slapped him with a rolled up napkin. “Nah, I’m happy for you brother, you deserve it.” He patted Shane’s shoulder.

“Better put a teddy cam in ‘is office Rick. Professor Stud over here’s gonna have a flood o’ “I’ll do anything for an A” twinks bustin' down ‘is door.” He jived. 

“He know’s what he’s got at home.” Rick chuckled.   
“That’s right baby.” Shane concurred. Daryl folded his arms and looked between them again.

“This is good.” He smiled. “I’ve missed you two bein’ all into each other n shit.” He told them seriously. “So, you guy’s gotta come grab a beer with me some time, it’s been a while.” He added gruffly. 

“Yeah man, tomorrow night.” Shane said as he wrapped his arm around Reid and pulled his son into his shoulder. Shane often felt bad that he didn’t pick up sign language like he should have and knew the boy felt left out most of the time. Even with their time together Shane was usually working, so it was gestures like this that let Reid know his father was aware and happy for his presence. 

“Rick?” Daryl asked.

“Absolutely.” Rick agreed as the waitress came by to collect their orders.


	4. Healing Pains.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Shane are both trying to move forward as husbands, but the pains of healing continue to test their commitment.

The Deep Dark Ocean  
Ch. 4

~~*~~

 

Tiny ice crystals danced and swirled in the dry air leaving tingly frozen kisses on Reid’s beaming face. They dusted his thick chestnut hair and accumulated on his shoulders, he could only see as he peered up into the white and gray sky that the world had become a snow globe. Reid was always enchanted by snowfall, he would try to examine flakes on his fingers before they’d melt and he wondered what the world sounded like beneath the frozen crystal blanket. Rick had told him once that the world became muffled and hushed, which was pleasant for people who could hear. So that part didn’t interest Reid so much. 

Christmas is quickly approaching and the only thing he wanted from his dads was a shelter dog, no particular breed, just a dog he could love and give a good to home. 

Shane stepped into his vision to get his attention.

“Let’s go man, its cold.” He signed with a grin. Reid listened and sprung forward grabbing his dad’s hand. 

“Your sign language is really good.” Rick complemented his husband as he joined their side. First week of December and the holiday mayhem is in full swing all over DC where they were finally settling in after the move. The streets are dreamy with Christmas decorations and frazzled shoppers rushing around with large packages and department store bags. The old fashioned street lamps adorned with large red bows and winter wonderland theme window displays brought a smile to Rick’s lips, he loved the holidays.

“Well, I gotta keep up with you.” Shane replied to Rick’s complement. “He already likes you best.” He added. 

“Not so.”

“No, it is.” Shane insisted. “Rightfully so.” 

“Why would you say that?”

“You’ve earned it.” He smiled adoringly at his blue eyed husband. “I-“ His face saddened. “When we found out he was deaf-“

“But you didn’t.” Rick cut him off. “You didn’t turn him away.” 

“But I would have…if not for you.” He reached over and rubbed the back of Rick’s neck. “He saw who the better man was.” Rick faltered at the memory of those days. They strode in comfortable silence and watched their son skip a few paces ahead looking like a frog trying to catch flies with his tongue. The two men laughed as he attempted to taste the snowflakes and grew annoyed as he hopped on the front steps of their new town home. 

Everything had happened so fast that Rick often forgot that this was his new home. It was a tall narrow brick building with black molding, a slate fish scale shingles roof and copper gutters, and old rippled windows. The windows on the third floor were large and round while the two that sat upon the roof looked like eyes. 

Reid rocked impatiently on his heels and grumbled while Shane fiddled with the keys.  
“Don’t give me that look.” Shane warned and signed perfectly.

“I think he has to use the bathroom.” Rick mediated(?). (w.c maybe say he mused?)

“Please, Rick, back me up, he’s becoming a brat.” Shane huffed as he pushed the door open and Reid shoved past. Rick flashed him an amused smile as they stepped into the foyer and slid off their coats. Rick hung his camel Burberry and removed his boots along with Shane who looked increasingly agitated.

“He’s not a brat.” Rick told him. Shane harrumphed and rolled his eyes.

“Yet.” 

“He’s a good boy.” Rick argued.

“He is not the problem, Rick!” His tone suddenly venomous as he started to stride away.

“What are you saying?” Rick demanded placing his hands on his hips. Shane turned to face him with that smug smile Rick wanted to punch. Like Shane couldn’t believe he was having to break this down for him. 

“He doesn’t respect me.” His tone restrained. “And you capitulate it.” 

“Horse shit.” Rick said flat and stubborn. “You’re his new best friend.” 

“I’m also his father.” 

“Well, you’re the one who’s with him all day. However he treats you, is how you allow him to treat you.” His anger flaring. 

“That’s great Rick, thanks.” He dismissed and gave Rick the finger as he started to walk off. 

“WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO?!” 

“HAVE MY BACK!” 

“Well, FUCK THAT!” Rick bellowed from deep in his chest. “I don’t get to see him enough to play bad cop, Shane.” He added as he shoved past his shocked husband and went into the kitchen. Shane hated how quickly their arguments escalated these days, everything can be perfect all day and suddenly they’re ripping each other’s throats out. There are still so many unresolved issues popping and hissing like molten lava beneath their attempts to move forward, but it will erupt eventually, they can’t avoid it forever. For now, it’s only geysers of flared temper that keeps them on eggshells and Shane fears the destruction of his heart and family once the explosion of Mount Vesuvius takes place. 

 

After a few moments of gathering himself, Shane lumbered into the kitchen. Rick stood with Reid by the island where he peeled a banana and handed it to his son. Shane watched as Rick hugged Reid’s head and kissed his hair.

He was suddenly humored at how Rick hated to cook yet it was this kitchen that sold him on this townhouse priced over a million dollars. It was beautiful, no doubt, with a combination of traditional and industrial touches. The floors have white and black subway tiles to match the backsplash above the butcher block counters and the cabinets paneled with frosted glass inserts that glow warmly. The wood pained windows took up the wall behind the sink looking out into a heavily wooded yard that sloped down into a large frozen lake, the wooden fences, shrubbery and large trees kept their space private.

His attention was brought back to the room as Reid’s thudding footsteps climbed the kitchen stairs. Shane leaned against the doorframe and bit his lip nervously as he saw his husband’s demeanor was still hostile. 

“Rick?” His voice was quiet.

“What?” Rick snapped, whipping the peels into the trash and refusing to turn to look at him. 

“I was wrong to speak to you like that. I started it…I’m sorry.” He apologized sincerely. Rick froze, still not looking at him as he was determined to stay angry. But Shane could see in spite of Rick’s best efforts that a silver lining gleamed at the parting storm clouds. Rick stared out into the snow flurries, not really seeing anything at all. 

Shane sauntered up to Rick’s rigid form and slid his arms around his waist. Rick exhaled like he’d been holding his breath the whole time and his muscles relaxed. Shane brushed the tip of his nose up the length of Rick’s neck and breathed in the scent of his skin before kissing it.

“Hmmm…” Rick tried to shrug him off. Shane was not deterred as he pulled the wide boat neck of Rick’s sweater aside and kissed the warm skin of his shoulder. Rick’s eyes closed while he floated amongst the feather light kissed Shane’s lips fluttered across his skin and the strong hands that wandered beneath his shirt light enough to send millions of prickling sensations through is body. 

“Shane…” He started, but a sharp gasp was all he managed when Shane’s fingers caressed his nipples and pinched them sweetly. 

“Daryl and the girls will be here for dinner.” Rick tried to sound cold, but he was melting into Shane’s body as he felt the large hands work their way down his torso and a rock hard cock pressing against his ass.

“How long?” Shane murmured indifferently, his touch now focused on squeezing Rick’s firm butt and rubbing himself against it.

“Two hours, I have to cook.” 

“I’ll cook.” 

“No. You should go decorate your dog house.” Rick gasped being shoved against the counter, Shane unbuttoned his jeans.

“Got a bone I can chew on?” He teased now running his palm over Rick’s erection and drawing a deep groan from the man.

“Damn, that dick always sells me out.” He chuckled and felt Shane smile against his neck. 

“Woof, woof!” He bit down making Rick squirmed and laugh. 

“Stop, stop!” Rick chuckled, “Reid’s going to see us.”

“Put your hands on the counter.” Shane ordered gruff and lustful as he forced Rick’s hands flat on to the poplar wood surface and bent him over just enough to get better access to his ass. 

“Shane.” 

“Want daddy ta eat that ass?” He purred. 

“Not here.”

“Baby, he’s watching a movie or something, just—“ 

“Shit!” They both jumped at the sound of a sharp knock on the counter behind them. Reid stood with his little fist suspended over the wood surface with a look of annoyance. 

“Christ!” Rick shot his husband a sharp look and rushed to console Reid. Shane hated that Rick did this. 

“Sorry baby, we were just…we were…” Rick stammered and then signed sloppily in his hast. 

“You were going to fuck. I know.” Reid signed, looking indifferent. Rick and Shane both became rigid at this and stared at their son in shock and discomfort. 

“Reid.” Rick breathed. Shane was suddenly rushing the seven year old making him stumble back.

“Shane!”

“Baby, back off.” Shane warned firmly. 

“What the hell did you just say to us?” He demanded from Reid who was surprisingly unfazed once he stood on stairs and was closer to his father’s height. 

“I know what adults do.” Reid tried to speak aloud but signed still. “Carl told me.” He added. 

“Carl?” 

“Oh, shit.” Rick murmured. 

“What exactly did he tell you?” Shane demanded. 

“That—“

“And if you say fuck one more time Ima fuck you up, hear me young man?” He warned. Rick squirmed at his threat. He would never threaten Reid like that. Reid huffed angrily and scowled.

“You should do that in your room.” He signed angrily and stomped up the stairs.

“SHANE!!!” Rick bellowed as his husband barreled up the stairs after the little boy grabbing him by his little arm, his face horrified. 

Rick cut between them and shoved Shane so hard in the chest he almost fell back down the stairs as Reid scurried down the hall and slammed his bedroom door. 

Both men glared at each other in shock and disbelief. Shane’s temper visibly faltered as he gathered himself standing a few steps below Rick. 

“Have you lost your mind?” Rick whispered looking down at him. 

“I lost my temper.” He explained dumbly. Rick nodded and ascended the steps till he was at eye level with Shane.

“He’s right. Parents should fuck in their bedroom.” He said before continuing down into the kitchen. 

 

_________________________________________

 

Rick and Shane had worked quietly preparing for dinner arrangements, wishing they could cancel right now, but it was too last minute and it would be poor manners at this point.

Now as everyone sat around the table drinking wine and sharing stories about their lives, since the last time they had all gotten together over the song of clattering silverware and Sinatra playing low in the background. Rick and Shane were struggling not to look like they hated each other. 

“It’s good to be with my queer family again” Daryl announced.

“We’re lesbians.” Michonne corrected. 

“Why aren’t lesbians queer?” Andrea pondered with a smirk. 

“Don’t complicate things.” Michonne chuckled next to her wife. Their adopted son Carl was upstairs playing video games with Reid, which made Shane’s jaw clench. 

“Well, whatever the hell ya’ll are, I been missin’ you.” He shrugged and flipped Michonne off and stuck out his tongue. 

“Awe, Daryl, you know you’re always my G.” She laughed and made fictitious gang signs. 

“I’ve missed having everyone together too.” Rick nodded. 

“And the house is beautiful!” Michonne added happily. 

“Still trying to make it our own.” Rick said.

“Do you and Andrea have sex anywhere other than the bedroom?” Shane blurted. Rick blanched and gawked at him. Andrea choked on her wine and Daryl perked up.

“Oh, hell yeah!” He smirked. “With detail.” He nodded to them.

“Don’t answer that, he’s just—“

“Rick, please.” Michonne cut him off. “Are we all too formal to discuss sex after all these years?” She glanced around the table with her brows raised with question. 

“MM!” Rick grumbled.

“So?” Shane pushed with a triumphant leer. 

“Let’s just say that that our house has seen some serious shit, k.” She boasted and Andrea covered her face.

“So hot.”

“Shut up Daryl, get your own sex life.” Andrea teased. 

“Ah, dun need one!” He scoffed. “Or want one!” He added. 

“Bull, you’ve been awfully friendly with that one doctor in oncology.” Michonne antagonized.

“The cougar?” Rick chuckled into his wine glass. 

“Doctor Peletier ain’t no cougar.” He argued. “We’re jus’ friend’s s’all.”

“And your intern?” Rick asked.

“Beth?” He snorted. “Girl don’t know the anus from a nostril.”

“She’s adorable, and don’t forget you too were an intern once.” Rick offered thoughtfully. 

“Ok, we got way off subject!” Michonne interrupted. “Rick, why won’t you let Shane sex you up around the house?” She interrogated. 

“Fine.” He swigged his wine. “If he hadn’t been trying to bone me in the kitchen today then we also would have avoided the conflict with Reid that immediately followed.” He explained. “It was awkward for him and for us.”

“Awkward for him?” Shane glared. “Get this!”

“Shane.”

“No, let’s do this.” He snapped with a judgmental finger in the air. “When Rick tried to do some damage control and explain to him what was happening he told us he knew we were about to fuck!”

The girls sucked in a sharp breath and Daryl snickered under his breath. 

“So I don’t think it was awkward for him at all.” He concluded.

“Where would he learn such a thing?” Andrea questioned.

“That’s the best part, he learned it from Carl.” He told them. 

“Carl?” Michonne repeated. 

“S’what he said.”

“I’m certain he never meant for him to act like that.” She reasoned.

“Me either!” Rick jumped in. “Carl is 14 and loves Reid, he was probably just trying to explain something about sex in a way that 14 year old boys do.” 

“We’ll talk to him about it.” Andrea pipped up. “I’m very sorry about that.”

“Is that what you guys are bein’ weird about?” Daryl asked. “Get over it, yer kid caught you horsin’ around, not like Shane was splittin’ you open on the counter.” The whole table busted out into laughing and chatter about how nasty Daryl was. They started to relax now that the air was cleared and Shane and Rick were finally looking at each other again. Turns out they made a mountain out of an ant hill. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Andrea threw her head back in laughter. “Shane! You’ve been with many women, tell Daryl that going down on a woman is not called a blowjob!”

“Da’fuck, I like ta blow on it!” He defended his choice of words. 

“Nah, c’mon man!” Shane chuckled like an all knowing man called upon for his wisdom. Rick and Michonne exchanged exasperated looks of humor. “It’s jus’ eatin’ pussy.” Shane continued. 

“Whatever, s’not like I’ve had any in a while.” Daryl dismissed as he poured another class of Cabernet. 

“Why is that? You’re gorgeous, smart and mysterious…” Rick injected making Daryl blush.   
“Dunno, jus’ not lookin’ I guess.” He shrugged.

“Are you hung?” Andrea blurted at him.

“Andrea!” Michonne and others chorused in disbelief. 

“What? It is kind of strange. He’s a whole package.” She said bringing her glass to her lips.

“She needs to be cut off.” Michonne laughed. Daryl gawked at them in desperation. 

“Well? How big’s your cock man?” Shane teased. 

“Ok, enough, he’s visibly uncomfortable.” Rick jumped in to rescue his withering friend and received a nod of approval from Michonne. 

“Whatever, as long as you’re over 6 inches and cut, it don’t matter.” Shane digressed with his hands up. Rick faltered and gave his husband a side glance with a sudden defensiveness…he was suddenly brought back to his night with Vinny, who was ashamed of not being “cut”. Was his husband, Shane one of those shallow people who would have shamed his beautiful boy? Rick’s finger tips dug into the mahogany table at the memory and he forced himself to shake it off. 

“Babe?” Shane asked as he squeezed Rick’s leg. 

“Huh? Sorry I’m fine, just spaced out for a second.” He played it off. 

 

After dinner Shane and Andrea volunteered to do the dishes and clean up the kitchen, they were always best of friends and howling with laughter at some inside joke that Rick, Daryl and Michonne often felt left out of. However, Shane and Andrea probably felt the same way toward them and the carrying on between them. 

Shane and Andrea had worked at the same law firm for nearly as long as Rick had worked with Daryl and Michonne at the hospital.

They sat outside on the porch watching Shane and Andrea through the window laughing about something as she washed plates and he dried. 

“These heaters are the shit.” Michonne complemented. Shane had purchased tall pillar shaped kerosene heaters for every corner so they could still sit outside when it was cold. Rick had lit the small fire pit for extra heat and ambiance, “I’m gonna buy some.” She added sitting Indian style on the patio sofa beside Daryl. 

“They work really well, right?” Rick agreed.

“Mm,” She mused. “So, no more bullshit, how’re you guys doing?” 

“Yeah, c’mon brother, what’s up?” Daryl probed, exhaling a jet of cigarette smoke. 

“We’re…trying.” Rick told them honestly. 

“S’start, but whats goin’ on?” Daryl interrogated. 

“Rick, we’ve been really concerned. Both of you completely absconded from us for months, wouldn’t return calls. And at least a year before that you guys were…you know…” Michonne looked at her friend with great love and concern. But Rick tried to avoid her eyes. 

“After thirteen years, I don’t know if we’re just desperate to make it work or if there’s really a chance for us.” He admitted trying to sound solid in his conviction. “Some days are good, like it’s finally coming together, others we avoid each other or we fight about everything.” He traced his lips with his index finger thoughtfully. “I’m just so tired of feeling hollow and uncertain.” He cleared his throat. 

“Andrea and I…” She paused to choose her words. “It takes work.”

“Don’t give me that shit.” He bit back. “It’s been nothing but work, for years.” 

“So give up.” Daryl shrugged with an incriminating look. Michonne slapped his leg. 

“What? No.” Rick countered.

“Then shut up.” Daryl snapped. “We all know what happened three years ago, it’s the pink elephant in the room, but we’re not supposed to talk about it.”

“Daryl!” Michonne yelled.

“Nah! I’m over these two.” He sat up and looked Rick hard in the eye. “You guys are my best friends, I wan’ nothin’ but happiness for you. But what you did ‘caused an avalanche o’ horse shit that never stopped com’n down.”

Rick became statue like in his posture and his eyes shut to break away from Daryl’s. He heard Michonne bickering with him about being an asshole but his mind was suddenly flooded with Shane’s voice, “Rick, what’ve you done!” He yells, his words panicked and desperate. “Show me your eyes!” Rick remembers just over a month ago the night with VInny when he collapsed on the bathroom floor in his hysteria. He knew it must have been a painful Deja Vu for his husband, perhaps enough to frighten Shane into making an attempt at the marriage again. 

“You were dead.” Daryl’s husky voice broke through his haze. He focused on his friends again, both looking at him cautiously. Rick never remembered that night, the night he killed himself. All he knew was what he had been told, that Shane came home early, Daryl with him…

“Shane…he found you dead in a tub of water, broke your ribs trying to save you…” He paused and swallowed thickly. “The cry that escaped him when he found you was the cry a soul makes just before it dies.” Daryl searched Rick’s eyes for a moment, they were weepy, but no tears fell from them. “He saved you, and he’s been afraid of you ever since.” He finished and took a drag off his cigarette. 

“You’re such a buzz kill.” Michonne snapped.

“S’fine. We dun gotta talk ‘bout it no more, but I wanted to remind you both that Shane’s got his side of this whole thing too. Neither of ‘em are innocent.” He huffed. 

“He’s right.” Rick smiled a thin line. “We both did this. We’ll both make it work.” As he said this he believed it, aside from the torturous ghost of Vinny’s words pinning at him. 

“You’re broken too, I can see it. You’ve become a hologram of someone that used to be real, but now you just drift through in some parallel reality. You breathe, but you’re not really here.”

Rick closed his eyes to see the boy’s sweet face again.

“You will. I believe it.” Michonne smile and rubbed his shoulder just hard enough to bring him back. 

“Rick, were the kids asleep when you checked on ‘em?” Daryl asked slouched low on the sofa with another cigarette between his fingers. 

“Um, yeah. Why?” 

“Cause' I got us all an after dinner treat.” He smirked.

“Dear god.” Michonne said in exaggerated worry. 

“I’m scared.”

“Me too!” Rick and Michonne teased and grabbed each other’s hands. Daryl smirked to one side and nodded.

“Ppht! Fine, I’ll jus’ smoke this bad boy all by myself…cunts.” He threatened gruffly as he pulled a long, thick joint from his breast pocket. 

“Aw, mmmann!” Michonne whined. 

“Oh, Daryl.” Rick flashed his perfect teeth. 

“Nope, none for you assholes.”

“Quite teasing, bitch!” Michonne scolded with a swift punch to his arm.

“OW! Psycho!” 

“We’re, like, totes sorry we were mean to you!” She sang in a mock valley girl voice, “You can so sit with us, now!” 

“Like I’d want to.” He scoffed. 

“C’mon Daryl.” Rick moaned while running his index finger across his lips.

“I’ll share wit my boy, Rick.” He teased trying not to laugh. Michonne sucked her teeth. 

“Aw, hell no, I’ll kill Rick then kill you with his dead body and share that shit with Shane and Andrea.” She tried to sound angry.

“Why am I getting killed?” Rick chuckled.

“Shush, I’m negotiating.”

“Ya suck at it.

“Daryl.”

“Dun you know pot kill’s brain cells bein’ that yer a brain surgeon and all.”

“None of the good ones, now light it up!” She pinched him.

“Alright!” He surrendered and rubbed his abused arm. Daryl flipped open his zippo against his jeans and sparked a large flame. Rick felt like a school boy it had been so many years since he smoked. He and Michonne watched their fried suck in a deep hit from the joint like two starving dogs watching someone eat bacon. He exhaled slowly and gave a small cough as the sweet skunky aroma permeated the area, then he slowly brought the joint back to his lips.

“He’s teasing us, right?” Michonne asked still not taking he eyes off Daryl.

“Yeah.” Rick agreed. 

“Calm down, here ya go.” He coughed again and passed it to Michonne who bounced in her seat. 

Rick turned and waved frantically at Andrea and his husband to get their attention, when he did and signaled by pinching his fingers together and putting them to his lips they both scrabbled to get outside, Shane playfully shoving her aside. 

“Oh, my god, I love stoned Shane.” Daryl chuckled just as the door swung open.

“Hell yeah!” Shane rushed over and snatched the joint from Michonne’s fingers as she was passing it to Rick.

“AH!” Rick protested.

“Sorry baby.” He passed it to Rick once he saw how unamused he was. 

“You’re a tool.” Andrea jabbed Shane in the rib.

 

(30 minutes later)

 

“So, where the fuck did we get all this violent medical knowledge we use?” Rick asked as slouched against Shane on the sofa. 

“RIGHT!” Andrea blurted. “It’s some crazy shit!”

“Duh, the Egyptians were doing that shit way before we were.” Shane injected. 

“But where how did they think of that crazy shit?” Michonne argued.

“Aliens.” Daryl explained seriously. 

“I swear aliens invented Dorito’s too. Have you ever tried just eating one of those things?” Andrea added out of left field. They all fell silent.

“Huh…” Shane said thoughtfully before they all busted out into howls of laughter, tears streaked their cheeks. 

“I love you so much!” Michonne giggled and kissed Andrea’s cheek. 

“I’m just sayin’ they’re even shaped like little pyramids.” She laughed. 

“Holy shit.” Daryl chuckled in disbelief. 

“Mind. Blown.” Shane and Daryl made an explosion sound and animated with their hands.

“Hey, its that out of the box thinking that got me through Stanford Law School.” She put her hand in Daryl’s face. 

“Aw, shit.” Michonne moaned. “Speaking of which, we have work early in the morning.” She pointed to a comfy Rick and Shane caressed his thick wavy hair in a loving gesture. 

 

______________________________________________________

 

The months seem to pass quickly and without much notice. One moment to the next Rick had no idea what month they were in. It was the end of July now, the days balmy and the nights sultry with summer romance, at least according to Shane. Rick was happy to see the end draw near as August approached with a last sweltering blow before autumn would lace its crisp air into the atmosphere and give way to the chill Rick loved and missed. 

Their marriage finally balancing out again, they were both much lighter at heart. They exchange random glances of adoration and were having sex regularly in spite of how tired they may be. Rick loved the new hospital still and its cutting edge technology, the interns were bright and focused and he was making friends with the doctors and nurses rather effortlessly. 

Shane was still waiting to start with the university and was able to spend more quality time with Reid learning sign language and taking him to explore the city, it made Rick’s heart swell to see them bonding, finally. 

Rick sat on the edge of the bed in his bathrobe looking through some work emails on his iPhone in the warm amber glow of the nightstand lamp. Shane stepped into the doorway of the bathroom with a Q-tip in his ear, bare ass. His huge flaccid cock was hanging heavily against his thigh. Rick shifted and forced his attention back to his work. 

“Wh’cha doin baby?” Shane inquired casually. 

“Just work.” He sighed. “Still.”

“Relax, put that damn thing down.” His voice gruff and impatient as he stepped back into the light of the bathroom. Rick didn’t hesitate as he switched the phone off and placed it on the nightstand. 

“What’s on your mind, babe?” Shane’s voice soothed as his large hand cupped under Rick’s chin forcing his gaze up into his husbands ebony eyes. He was in a white bathrobe now, his hair was damp and his skin smelled of soap, but what Rick couldn’t help but notice was that Shane’s dick was mere inches from his mouth, only cotton draping over it, the fat flared head visible through the fabric. Rick couldn’t stop his lips from curling into a suggestive smirk.

“Hmm?” Shane teased, knowing full well what was on Rick’s mind. “This?” He grinned pulling the crisp white fabric aside just enough to expose the head to his husband’s thirsty gaze. Rick chuckled leaning forward to lick Shane’s cock head and slowly worked it into his salivating mouth. He sighed from deep within like he was sucking the sweet juice from a ripe fruit, intoxicating and delicious in its simple nature. 

“Aw, fuck!” Shane hissed rocking his head back. “Already hungry like I didn’t feed ya this mornin’.” He teased. Rick choked and laughed. 

“I don’t mean ta be greedy, I’ll stop.” Rick apologized with ersatz sincerity as he stood up to walk away. Shane laughed and grabbed Rick by the waist tossing them both into the puffy bedding. Rick giggled like a small child and pretended to try and escape his husband’s attack of kisses on his face and neck.

“God, I love you so fuckin’ much!” Shane sang straddling Ricks body beneath him. Rick beamed up at him in awe of how perfect this was, suddenly more aware than ever of what a devastating mistake it would have been if they had walked away from each other just a few short months ago.

“Things change so quickly.” Rick smiled as he rubbed his man’s smooth chest. 

“Yeah, like how in less than sixty-seconds I’ma have my dick so far up your ass your gonna feel it in your throat.” He teased even though his eyes were softer. “C’mere.” 

He pulled Rick up by the collar of his robe into a searing, languid kiss. They both hummed into each other passionately as they nursed their tongues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please leave feedback, criticism or praise ;) XOXO

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot explain the random pairing, but Vinny is Vinny Guadagnino, lol. Don't judge me, he's adorable. 
> 
> Anyway, please leave feedback and give me any constructive criticism you may have. I can handle it.


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